It has been a crazy, crazy, crazy two weeks. So many things have happened in my life personally, I don't know where to start. Have not felt like blogging or even working on the business. The stress has literally broken me down to the point I was physically ill. Everything hit the fan on my birthday of all days, that was 14 days ago. It started when I saw the cell phone bill had jumped from barely any usage to 1600 minutes and over 6000 texts for one line.
OK, before I get into this you have to understand something about my wife. She takes everything she does very serious. She puts her heart and soul into everything and treats it as if it were her own. She has invested a lot of time into this office and has basically been a counselor for the alcoholic manager's/owners who are a husband and wife team, equaling literally countless and useless hours of talk time in a day. It has taken a lot of time away from our family and caused a lot of undue stress.
My wife is working for a company that is mismanaged. The owners of this office think just because they own it, they do not have to follow rules and regulations set forth by the state. I am withholding the name of the business/office while my wife is still working there.
The stress was not just from the phone calls but also the fact that she has been getting her paychecks late. The only reason we have tolerated it is because they work around her schedule and we have plans in motion that I will not mention in this blog post for obvious reasons.
When I saw the phone records I hit the roof. I was so angry that she had been devoting so much time into the situation and taking away from family time, my blood was boiling. Literally between 4-6 hours a day of talk time. I found myself thinking extremely reckless thoughts. I was literally two minutes away from walking out of the house to pay the boss a visit, I was not thinking clearly and thinking the worst, seeing as though most of the calls were from his phone and not his wife's.
I confronted my wife and she did not deny the calls or conversations and tried to explain to me what was going on. (I already knew bits and pieces but was not fully aware) I told my wife how I felt about the length of the conversations and she agreed. She then told the owner that it was inappropriate for her to be talking so much about his and his wife's personal problems because it was taking away from family time and distracting her not only from family but from school work. However my gut feeling and my emotions were getting in the way of listening. Not to mention the fact that my criminal justice instincts were working in overdrive. I don't love that field for no reason at all. LOL
So days went on and as I sat home thinking about everything my anger began to grow into hatred.
Then I had a break through. I realized something had gone terribly wrong.
I have blogged so many times about guys not showing attention to their wives and how a lot of times men neglect there woman or families by not making time.
Well, I broke my own rules. I have been so wrapped up in starting the business that I completely neglected my wife and kids for that matter. We weren't talking and hardly spent any time together in the past several months. We maybe spent two hours a day together of actual husband and wife time. With her school, work, kids school, and me working on the business it just spiraled out of control. We both lost sight of what was important and got caught up in life. It literally turned into just a motion of habits. Walking through every day like a zombie. Anytime she did asked me to watch a movie, called me on the phone, or wanted to do something fun I was always to busy. And her counseling her boss's became part of her everyday ritual and her dedication to everything she does blinded her as well.
You do not realize how fast things can turn bad if you are blind to the entire picture.
I finally had my eyes opened though and boy was it an eye opener. Now I see everything clearly. I see all of the mistakes that we have made and the issues that caused us to have such separation between us. So much so that it was like we had become roommates and not husband and wife.
Now that I am seeing clearly I am all over correcting the issue, as is she. We have worked on the schedule to ensure that we have more time together and moved around a few things to be more accommodating for us and the kids. While she is doing homework we still sit and watch a movie together and even though she can't focus on the movie 100% we are at leas in each others company. We have increased our communication in person and on the phone during the day and it is great. Now when she calls me I don't rush her off the phone because I am to busy. I make sure I make the time to talk and actually listen to what she is saying. (another rule I broke, listen to what your woman has to say. lol) We make special time for the kids and make every moment count.
I am going to make it my goal to ensure that this NEVER happens again. I am going to do my best to not lose sight of what is really important in life and that is my family. Making my wife feel unappreciated and unloved is not something I am proud of and I know that she feels saddened by the fact that she also neglected the kids and I.
This may have affected the kids a little but we have talked to them and the kids are extremely happy now because they notice a huge difference.
Last night I had the best conversation with my wife and we have not communicated like that in a while.
We talked for over an hour and it was great. No Facebook, texting,or laptops just good old fashioned talk time; something that I think most married couples today lack because of all the technology at our fingertips.
Things are starting to feel like old times and it makes me so happy. This could have taken a totally different direction had it continued. Most people would have called it quits because divorce is so easy now days and no one likes to be this stressed so most give up, but not us. We have been through worse, we survived, and we will do it again.
We know what we have to do and we are working on it together. Marriage is work and if you are not prepared to work hard at it you are doomed for failure. Thankfully I have a wife that has the same family beliefs as I do and knows what it will take to put our family back together.
Things are great today and we have an awesome weekend planned, I can't wait. I hope we can continue on this path because it really does feel like I have my wife back and not just a roommate. I didn't really realize how much I missed her company, conversations, and her great personality until this all happened, I am glad it did happen because It opened our eyes. I am right where I want to be.
I leave you with this quote that I once heard.
"For every man that does not show affection to his wife, there are 10 men lined up that will". I think that is a true statement and I think it can go both ways.
OK, before I get into this you have to understand something about my wife. She takes everything she does very serious. She puts her heart and soul into it and treats it as if it were her own business. She has invested a lot of time into this office and has basically been a counselor for the alcoholic manager's/owners who are a husband and wife team, equaling literally countless and useless hours of talk time in a day. It has taken a lot of time away from our family and caused a lot of undue stress. And while I try to understand, it really is starting to get me to the boiling point.
My wife is working for a company that is managed by morons. The owners of this office think just because they own it, they do not have to follow rules and regulations set forth by the state. I am withholding the name of the business/office while my wife is still working there. However once she is gone...I can promise you I am spilling the beans. I am the last person they wanted to piss off.
This office hired a girl without contacting her references from previous local employers. This girl is the laziest sack of shit I have ever seen. Basically does, well, nothing and the owners allow her to get away with it on a daily basis. She sits on FB all day and passes on her work to others everyday. It was brought to light that she has been stealing time from the company. Taking two hour lunches and marking down that she didn't take a lunch at all or leaving early and marking a later time. Turns out this is not the first job that she has pulled these stunts with. She was fired from her previous office job for stealing time and embezzling from the company. The owners are now aware of this yet they still allow her to stay on.
This office basically has hit a financial wall because of the owners mishandling thousands of dollars, using the corporate account as their personal piggy bank. Sometimes my wife and other employees are even asked to hold their paychecks for a day to ensure deposits clear in time. (keep in mind this is a small office) A suggestion was made that the owners should lay off the lazy thief to free up her salary, so it can be used for other purposes..IE Pay your other GOOD employees on time dumb asses.
You would think that this would make good business sense right? Oh no, not to the owners of this office. She is being kept on and the money is still being thrown out the window basically. It makes me sick. Especially since my wife has devoted 100% of her time and energy into this place, causing so much stress in out lives.
Why has she stayed you ask. Well, that is simple. Bottom line is they work around her schedule.
However I do feel a change coming. There is only so much a person can take and that includes the other employees. The owners are basically slapping everyone in the face, especially the ones that pick up the slack of the lazy thief.
And now that it has trickled down to my family, especially my kids, I am taking it VERY personal. I am not as forgiving or as nice as my wife is. I maybe get to see my wife including weekends between 20-30 hours a week (between her school and work) of actual uninterrupted family time. And while I have been preoccupied with other projects, I had my eyes closed to the fact that we were not having a lot of family and husband - N - wife time, BUT now my eyes are wide open. So losing more time is not something I am prepared to tolerate.
The past few months my eight year old daughter well, now nine as of August has been complaining that her stomach hurts really bad. Sometimes to the point that I have had to pull over on the highway so she could throw up. We didn't know what to think. She described them as hunger pains.
And before anyone says oh, why didn't you take her to the doctor? We did! What do you think I am an amateur?
We took the kids to the Nickelodeon Suites Resort two weekends ago and she was miserable for the first few hours we were there. After she ate she seemed to feel better so we just went about the weekend.
Her headaches have been getting worse and she has been having a hard time concentrating in school. So now I have two kids having a hard time concentrating in school. We considered the possibility that my daughter like my son was experiencing some body changes and maybe that is why she had stomach pain and her headaches spiked. If you follow my blog then you know about my son already.
Nothing like having two hormonal kids in the house.
This morning my daughter comes to me and says "Daddy, I think I might be getting my period" Screeeeech.. What? Can you say that in my good ear? Oh no..not my little girl. I told her "you need to have that discussion with your Mom". That is not a conversation I am prepared to have with my nine year old daughter, who JUST turned nine.
So my daughter tells the Mrs. and sure enough she is. Can you believe that mess? At nine! So, I now have a son that wants to hump everything in the house and a daughter that is going to be bleeding all over. Just great. I was not prepared for this at all.
It is bad enough that my wife has attitude, now I am going to get the attitude from both of them.
I think I will stay in a hotel every month for a week. Then that will allow those two to fight it out.
It's that time of the year already? What time of the year you ask? Halloween time!
We celebrate Halloween for the entire month of October. We have had the same tradition for years. The houses gets decorated inside and out of course, and it's horror movies every night starting with a classic, yes that right, Halloween. What better way to start off Halloween than by watching the king of Halloween scare himself, Michael Myers aka the Boogeyman. Just something about a slow moving serial killer with a white mask that is so creepy, and as long as the movie does not have clowns in it I will watch it.
Useless Trivia: In case none of you are die hard Halloween fans Michael Myers mask was modeled after William Shatner's face.
We watch the entire Halloween series from start to finish. After that we start on Friday The 13th, Nightmare On Elm street, Child's Play, Hellraiser aka PinHead, you know the good scary movies. Not the Rob Zombie remakes, especially the botch job he did when he remade Halloween, what a disgrace that was. And yes my wife loves horror movies. Halloween is her favorite.
We throw in some newer horror movies as well. There are a few new ones that will give you a good startle or two.
Pumpkins We Carved
Carved Pumpkin 2006
Do the kids watch these types of horror film with us? No, not so much. I tried to let them watch Halloween last year and they slept in my bed for 3 days afterwards. So the kids watch less scary horror films for Halloween. Like Dora's Halloween, just kidding. The kids watch Goosebumps and shows of that nature. My son who is Turning 12 In November says he wants to watch some "real" horror movies this year but we will see. My son likes to act out every movie he watches so I am not so sure I want him pretending to be a serial killer.
Carving pumpkins is also a tradition we have. About two weeks before Halloween we carve pumpkins. The kids love it an always look forward to it. It can be time consuming but well worth it for the kids.
So what do you do for Halloween? Any favorite horror movies on your list?