Friday, November 9, 2012

The Answer To Is Flirting Cheating

Flirting is not a harmless act. While you may or may not be interested in pursuing the person you are flirting with, you are doing psychological damage and multiple studies have shown psychological damage is often more likely to ruin a relationship than that of an actual affair. There is a reason that psychological warfare is so effective.

Consider the feelings of your significant other. How would you feel if your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife ignored you and flirted with every person they saw? You would be pretty ticked off.

Flirting with another person only tells your partner that you really don’t care about how they feel or about them in general as studies have shown. You are only interested in instant gratification and obsessed with outside opinions. Your partner’s love is not enough for you. Your significant other will feel bad about themselves. They will think they are not good enough for you and either break up with, divorce you, become very insecure, jealous and suspicious of you.

Married woman usually flirt because they crave the attention from multiple men and make an emotional connection while men do it because of lack of sex from their partner and are not usually emotionally connected with the person they are flirting with.

Ask yourself why you flirt with other people. Are you doing it when you’re with your partner or when they aren’t around?  If you answered behind your significant others back then you are actually cheating, regardless of physical contact.  The psychological damage from this type of cheating has been responsible for many divorces in the United States.

Beatriz Mileham from the University Of Florida has said studies show that internet involving social media (Facebook, Twitter, Chat Rooms) and texting are now the leaders in infidelity and more than a third of the flirting is toward a coworker or someone you know. In many cases flirting by text or phone and engaging in a sexual type flirting often leads to masturbation by one or both of the parties involved.  Rather it be during or after the conversation, with men, it is always the case, as every survey conducted shows.   Most women who commit this type of infidelity do not feel as though they are cheating.   However multiple studies show that even if nothing physical happens there's a feeling of infidelity and betrayal as much as when two people have skin-to-skin contact.  And the emotional damage can be quite substantial often leading to divorce, insecurities, trust issues, and  jealousy. If the flirting involved personal discussions about marital problems, personal issues, or was strong in sexual nature the emotional damage could be severe.

Gill Munro, from the British marriage guidance service said: "The sort of experience our counselors are having is similar to that described in this study. The most common problem, as this research suggests, is that even when nothing physical happens there's a feeling of infidelity and betrayal as much as when two people have a real affair."

Married couples that have tried to work through it typically wind up in divorce within 6 months of the betrayal.

If you are doing it for attention, then sit down with your significant other for a much-needed talk. They might not be giving you the attention you need but flirting, texting, or cyber flirting is not acceptable behavior in any country . Use examples and be honest with yourself and your partner, you need to be honest and open in order to make a difference.

If they give you plenty of attention, you may have a deeper self-esteem issue you need to clear up. You don’t need acceptance from everyone you see to know you are a decent person.

Really consider your partner’s feelings in all of this. You already have someone who cares about you and knows you better than most people under the sun. Flirting with other people will ruin all of that.   Is risking history with your partner really worth it?


  1. In 1999 I left my wife for flirting with someone she worked with. We stayed separated for 2 years then reunited. Excellent post Goob.

  2. Glad you posted this.My wife works at an auto part store and has been flirting with her supervisor. I found out from her friend 2 weeks ago. she refuses to quit her job and i think she still flirts.I make plenty to support us.We have a son so i want to work it out.I am going to send her your post to read.hope you do not mind me asking but are you speaking from personal experiences or just posting? I would like to know what you did.

  3. this post is exactly how i felt when my wife did this to me. i am seeing a pattern here my wife also was flurting with a coworker. i hated her for it. Didnt even want to look at her. she quit her job and we are ok now.

  4. Women suck. My wife and mother of my daughter committed the same act. I confronted him after she told me he started it just to find out it was her all along. He told me that she said she was lonely and I was never home. Not true as I work 3 12 hour shifts and I'm home the rest of the time. I slashed her tires after I caught her sitting in her car talking to him after I had already told her not to. We are now divorced and I have full custody of our daughter. Hope she rots in hell. I now do not trust women at all. Sorry for the rant.

    1. Not all women are bad. I have had men flirt with me at work most of whom are married and I quickly put them in their place. Some of us take relationships serious and don't need attention from anyone except the one we are with even when times get rough. I feel sorry for any children involved in anything like this. I hope you find miss right.

  5. Wonderful post. FSUfan1970-I had a situation like this in my marriage. I am the wife and I did it to my husband. We did in fact separate of it for about 4 months. We worked it out though and I did a lot of apologizing and making it up emotionally to my husband. I was having an emotional affair with the manager of the company I worked for (all flirting) and it nearly ended my marriage. My kids suffered the most I think. I had to quit my job, it never would have worked had I stayed. Out of sight out of mind as the old saying goes. I am glad my husband finally forgave me.
    Women make mistakes, we are human. I am not saying it's okay because it is not okay at all. I am just saying if we make it right just give us a chance.

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