Friday, May 11, 2012

10 THINGS MEN SHOULD NOT SAY TO WOMEN

1. Are you pregnant? If you are not sure if she is pregnant do not ask.  If you ask and she turns out not to be she will be crushed because you have basically called her fat.

2.  Holy Sh**  you are huge!  If she is pregnant do not under any circumstances say those words. Pregnant women have raging hormones and you may end up with one ball.

3. It must be that time of the month for you.  I am pretty sure most women hate that comment and this comment is usually said during arguments, never a good idea.  If you say this during an argument she is probably going to stab you in the eye with the nearest object.  If you are not in an argument and a man says this to a woman then she is going to assume she is bloated and you are calling her fat, again, she will probably shank you like gang banger in a prison yard.

4. Do you really need to eat that?  This one speaks for itself...Does the shank in the prison yard ring a bell? This is not to be confused with ARE YOU going to eat that.

As I said, fork in the eye
5. There is no need for you to get desert.  If you are in a restaurant and she asks for desert, for the love of Pete do not ever make that statement to her.  If the waitress/waiter comes over and asks if you would like to order desert look at your wife/date and ask, would you like desert, that gives her the chance to answer and you wont end up with a drink in your face or fork in the eye.

6.  Are you sure that fits you?  This is a doozy.  Hope you like the couch because this statement is a lose lose situation.  She is going to take it as you are either calling her fat or think she is too skinny.  Sorry but you lose in this one.  You might as well sleep in the dog house, literally.

7.  Get to the point!  I am guilty of this one myself.  Women like to think you are listening.  Even if you are not at least pretend you are.  Don't make it known you don't care.  Women listen to men go on and on all the time.  Do you think women really care about your fishing trip with your buddies?  No they don't but they pretend they do so you can feel loved.

8.  You look***pause for a moment*** then say good.  If a woman asks you how she looks or how her outfit looks,  for the love of all that is holy NEVER pause.     This could be so bad for you and again she will assume you think she looks fat if you pause.  Q. Do I look good in this? A. Very quickly..yes you always look good. Q. Do I look fat? A.  VERY QUICKLY..Hell no you don't look fat, you're beautiful.

9.  My Ex-wife/girlfriend would do that for me.  If your wife/girlfriend will not do something for you sexually or non-sexually never say your ex-wife/girlfriend would do it for you.  This is a sure way to be single again.  Your wife does not want to know how your Ex did it.  How would you like it if she said wow my Ex-husband's penis was bigger than that.  Even though it probably was bigger she would never say it because she wouldn't want to damage your ego.

10. Which is actually the number ONE. What the "fiery place" did you do all day?  As a stay at home dad I can tell you this would piss me off.  If your wife is home all day with kids, do not ever come home and ask what she did all day.  Being a at home with kids is hard work.  Until you have been in her shoes you shouldn't say a word.  Most men could not handle being home with kids all day.  Let's face it a lot of moms wouldn't trust dad at home with the kids all day anyway. LOL

Get Out of the doghouse cards!
Yes honey, I was wrong it's my fault I am sorry.
Have I told you lately how beautiful you are.
You are an awesome wife and mother, I don't know what I would do without you.



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39 comments:

  1. Finally a guy who gets it. Being home all day with the kids is hard. Most men can't handle the stress it induces. My hat off to you, because you obviously can, or you'd be out working, just to avoid it. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and you are absolutely right. I know plenty of men AKA boys (LoL) that will do anything to get out of the house just so they can get away from kids.
      I appreciate the comment.

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. A guy from Pennsylvania complained about this post. You know what that means? It means he is most likely a jerk-weed to women and probably treats them like dirt. He complained out of guilt.

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  4. As long as women are going to be filthy mouthed smart asses, I will be one right back. Fuck what women think.

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  5. No revelations here. 8 out of 10 are" don't call her fat" the other 2 fall under the " golden rule" guideline( you know " Do unto others... etc.).Best you continue on being a good Dad to your kids( which I'm sure you are) and leave the philosophy to others.
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While this is true you cannot not negate the fact that a lot of men are oblivious to these simple facts.

      Delete
  6. Agreed, as one of two brothers raised by a single mum ( dad was around, just not that interested) I have a lot of respect for women, but having said that, respect is a two way street, and if my wife wants me to treat her like a princess( which I do) then I want to be treated like a prince( which, luckily for me , she does). How about the top 10 things women shouldn't say to men( and honestly, leave out penis references, because if you're an adult and a "man" you stop caring about that nonsense by the time you're 30)
    Have at 'er Goob
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL..Its funny you mention that because I am actually working on the top 10 things women should not say to men, because as you said and I agree it is a two way street.
      Thank you for your comments too.

      Delete
  7. No worries, my friend, although I'm sure we have ideological differences(I'm Canadian) I'm also pretty sure we are coming from the same starting point. I don't mind weighing in on subjects I have knowledge of or feel strongly about as long as I think they will listened too even if not agreed with. Hey, I still think you're an armchair psycologist/philosoper but at least you're putting it out there.
    Have a great night
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
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