Wednesday, April 25, 2012

My Top 12 Pet Peeves

12.  Crunching while you eat. 
 If I am watching a movie and you are sitting next to me and eating Doritos I don’t want to hear the crunching.

11. Talking or noise during a movie.
If I am watching a movie I do not want to hear dishes banging in the kitchen or the dishwasher running.  Don’t ask 50 questions about the movie either.

10. No purchase necessary details inside.
I hate when I am shopping and see an advertisement for a sweepstakes on a bag of chips or something like that and it reads "no purchase necessary details inside".  So does the mean I can just open the bag, get the details and put it back on the shelf?  I saw Father of the Bride so I know what happens in that situation.

9. Why do you carry a gun?
I hate when people ask that. I will tell you why I carry one.
3 reasons:
    1. A cop is too heavy to carry.
    2. Because when seconds count a cop is still at the donut shop.
    3. I can’t throw a rock at 1200 feet per second.

8.     Spanish
If you are out in public or sitting in a restaurant and everyone around you is speaking English then don't speak Spanish.  It is rude and we may want to hear what you are saying.

7. Guys that wear sandals or better yet guys that wear sandals or flip flops with black socks.
You look like an idiot, so don’t do it.

6. Guys that walk around with their pants two sizes too big and hanging off their ass.
The public does not want to see your Sponge Bob boxers or your butt so buy a belt and pull your pants up.

5. Fat woman that wear clothes that are too small or let their "stuff" hang out.
You know you are fat so look in the mirror before you leave the house.  If you are overweight don’t be a slob about it.  For the love of Pete wear clothes that fit you.  When you bend over I don't want it to look like you sat on Buckwheat's head.  its not the 70's any more shave for crying out loud.

4. People who smoke while their kids are in the back seat.
If you don’t care about your health that’s fine, but give the kids a chance.  I hate when I pull up to a light and I look over and see trash all over the inside of a car and a woman driving with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth with the windows rolled up and 4 kids in the back seat.  You don’t look sexy and you’re killing your kids. Knock it off.

3. Pregnant women who smoke and drink.
If you are smoking and drinking while you are pregnant maybe you should read about the side effects or better yet you shouldn’t be having a kid.

2. The sound of paper tearing.
Don’t ask me why because I have no clue.  When I hear paper tear it gives me the chills I can’t explain it it’s just one of those things.

And my number 1 pet peeve is.........
1.        Clowns!
Clowns are not cute or funny.  They are scary as hell. There is nothing cute about a grown man dressing up as a clown and hanging out with little kids for money.   Kids have nightmares about clowns so don’t invite one to a birthday party.  You saw It and Poltergeist, you know what happens.

What are some of yours?